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To Classic Yuffie - Letters From The Past

New York Tails recently spoke with Yuffie, a five year old Neapolitan Mastiff who runs her own on-line advice column when her owners, Robert Ipcar and Jane Landis, aren't using the computer. She is a frequent sight in the off-leash area of Prospect Park, Brooklyn.

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New York Tails: Wow! You're big!

Yuffie: What did you expect, a Chihuahua?

New York Tails: When did you start your advice column?

Yuffie: My human, Bob Ipcar, used to write an advice column for a film crew trade magazine. That magazine folded, but the idea of the column survived. Only I write it now.

New York Tails: What type of questions do you usually get?

Yuffie: All kinds. I recently had a dog write in to ask me what to do after he ate his owner's cell phone by mistake and why do dogs feel an uncontrollable urge to jump into a melee of a dog pile. I even had one dog, Annoyed Samoyed, write in and ask why humans collect our poop in little plastic bags.

New York Tails: And? Why do they?

Yuffie: What I've been able to deduce from the evening news is that the poop is shipped directly to some place called Washington. The humans here are always saying that the humans there are full of it.

New York Tails: In Addition to your column, you're also a therapy dog at New York Methodist Hospital here in Park Slope, visiting geriatric and adult psychiatric units.

Yuffie: Yes, but actually I go for the free treats the nurses slip to me.

New York Tails:Your family is quite a talented bunch too. There on the wall is a beautiful collage painting by your human grandmother; your human father is a cinematographer who also runs Smalltownbrooklyn.com; your human mother is a musician and environmental educator; your human sister, Jenna, is an artist and your other human sister, Katie, is off at collage studying science.

Yuffie: If you say so.

New York Tails: And you have plenty of other non-human company here! Piddlesnaps, a bearded dragon lizard; Cray-Z the crayfish; and some fish over there...

Yuffie: Excuse me, but you came her to interview me, right?

New York Tails: Sorry. So where can people meet you, Yuffie?

Yuffie: Well, now that the weather's heating up, me and my friends from Fido (Fellowship for the interests of Dogs and their Owners in Brooklyn) will probably hit the Dog Beach out in Prospect Park. Oh, and there's always the Coffee Bark on the first saturday of every month out in the Park. Free treats for human & canine alike. See Fido for a listing of their ongoing events.

New York Tails: Great! And where can people read and submit questions to your column?

Yuffie: There should be a link at Fido. Click on "web-woofers" and look for my name.